Divine Marriage

Series:

New Testament

Book:

Ephesians

Rev. Budy Setiawan

The sermon continues a running exposition of Ephesians 5, picking up where the congregation left off two weeks earlier. That previous message addressed wives, from verses 22-24, on what it means to submit to a husband "as to the Lord." Having reviewed that submission is willing, joyful, loving, and rooted in trust that God's design is good, the preacher now turns to verse 23's stated reason for that command — "the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior" — and uses it as the hinge into today's focus on husbands.

The sermon insists that the popular, worldly caricature of "headship" as license to rule, to be served, and to do as one pleases with a subordinate is a distortion the text itself forbids, since a head cannot rightly harm its own body. To recover the true meaning, the sermon works through three ways Scripture depicts Christ's headship over the church. First, headship means authority: Ephesians 1:20-22 shows Christ raised and seated far above every rule, authority, power, and dominion, with everything placed under his feet and given to the church as head over all things. Second, headship means provision: Ephesians 4:15-16 pictures the whole body, joined and held together by every joint, growing and building itself up in love as it draws life from the head — Christ supplies what the body needs to grow healthy, much as breath and nourishment sustain a physical body from the head down. Third, headship means protection and salvation, tying back to verse 23's description of Christ as "Savior" of the body — not that a husband saves his wife in the redemptive sense, but that he is called to guard and keep her from harm, just as Christ preserves and keeps his church so that nothing can separate her from his love.

The sermon illustrates this protective instinct with a story from the recent Bondi Beach terrorist attack: a woman named Jessica Rosen, in the chaos of gunfire, found and shielded a three-year-old stranger's child, covering the girl with her own body until the shooting stopped and the child's parents were reunited with her. Asked whether she felt like a hero, Rosen said, "I'm not a hero, any man would do it," adding, "I don't know if she felt safe, but she was safe." The preacher draws out the parallel to the believer's assurance in Christ: security does not depend on how safe one feels in the moment, but on the objective fact of being held by Christ, in whom "there is now no condemnation" for those who are in him.

Turning to verse 25 — "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" — the sermon argues that this is the concrete shape headship must take: not command from a distance but self-giving love. Whereas wives were called to look to the church's submission to Christ as their model, husbands are now called to look to Christ's self-sacrifice as theirs. The sermon traces what it cost Christ to give himself for the church through several passages: Galatians 1:3-4, where Christ "gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age"; 1 Corinthians 15:2-3, where "Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures"; and Romans 5:6-10, which stresses that Christ died for the ungodly, for sinners, for those who were still enemies of God — not for the righteous or even merely the "good," for whom someone might conceivably die, but for those utterly undeserving. The force of the argument is that a husband's love for his wife must not be conditioned on her being lovable, competent, or godly, any more than Christ's love for the church was conditioned on her righteousness. Whatever weakness, sin, or failure a wife brings, it is never worse than the church's own rebellion against God, and yet Christ loved and died for her anyway.

The sermon closes by naming this calling as beautiful, exalted, and simultaneously impossible in human strength alone — for both spouses, submission and sacrificial love can only be lived out by leaning fully on the Holy Spirit, not on feeling or fairness. Husbands are urged to initiate love regardless of a wife's response, and unmarried young people are urged to pursue future spouses who reflect Christlike character. The sermon ends with a call to bring marriages back to the gospel, to depend on the Spirit's help, and to let children one day bear witness to parents who visibly reflect the love between Christ and his church, closing in a shared prayer surrendering marriage to God's design.

Bible Verses Used

  • Ephesians 5:22-27: The passage under exposition; the sermon rereads verses 22-24 as background on wives before turning to verse 25's command to husbands.

  • Ephesians 5:23: Cited as the stated reason for the husband's headship — "the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church... and is himself its Savior" — framing the sermon's three-part definition of headship.

  • Ephesians 1:20-22: Used to show the first sense of Christ's headship — supreme authority over every power, given to the church as head over all things.

  • Ephesians 4:15-16: Used to show the second sense of headship — Christ as the source from which the body draws growth and builds itself up in love.

  • Ephesians 5:25: The sermon's central verse — "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" — presented as the concrete definition of loving headship.

  • Galatians 1:3-4: Quoted to show Christ "gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age," illustrating the cost of Christ's self-giving love.

  • 1 Corinthians 15:2-3: Quoted to emphasize that Christ's self-giving culminated in his death "for our sins according to the Scriptures."

  • Romans 5:6-10: Used to argue that Christ died for the weak, ungodly, sinful, and hostile — not the righteous or merely "good" — as the model for a husband's unconditional love for his wife.

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