This sermon continues an exposition of Ephesians, moving through the practical section that begins in chapter four, where Paul applies gospel truth to specific relationships already corrupted by sin — first husbands and wives, and now, in Ephesians 6:1–4, children and parents, with servants and masters to follow next week. The sermon opens by noting how radically the gospel reshapes ordinary relationships, illustrating this with the historical example of John Newton, the former slave trader who wrote "Amazing Grace," and his disciple William Wilberforce, whose conviction that the gospel's principles were incompatible with slavery helped end the British slave trade.

Turning to the command to children, "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right," the sermon insists obedience is rooted in relationship with Christ: because believers are saved by grace alone and created for good works God prepared beforehand, obeying parents is itself one of those good works, done out of gratitude for salvation rather than to earn it. "In the Lord" also means obedience is bounded by truth — since parents are not equal to the Lord, a child need not obey a parent who teaches sin. The preacher illustrates this candidly with his own upbringing: from age six or seven he sat beside his non-Christian father learning to gamble at capsa, a card game, surrounded by cigarettes and alcohol several nights a week, and says only God's grace — not his own effort — rescued him from that trajectory and made him a pastor of twenty-five years. He adds that as children mature into teenagers, parents should increasingly explain the reasons behind their instructions rather than rely on "because I said so," while children may respectfully ask why without that exempting them from obedience once an answer is given.

The sermon then examines the citation of Exodus 20:12, the fifth commandment, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Positioned between the first four commandments, which concern love for God, and the last six, which concern love for neighbor, honoring parents is transitional because parents represent God's authority to the child. The sermon confronts directly the hard question of whether obedient children are guaranteed a long life, sharing the pastor's grief over his ten-year-old sister — a devout and gifted girl who secretly wrote poems to God — who drowned in a swimming accident. The promise, the sermon argues, is ultimately fulfilled not fully in this age but in the new heavens and new earth, where those united to Christ live forever, grounded in the assurance from Romans that nothing in all creation can separate believers from the love of God in Christ Jesus. The application to children is distilled into four charges: trust Jesus to forgive sin and be Savior; trust God to reward obedience in his own good way; know that obedience is simply right; and therefore obey and respect one's parents.

The sermon then turns to fathers, addressed in verse 4: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Fathers bear the primary — not exclusive — responsibility for the household, illustrated by God calling out to Adam first in Genesis 3 despite Eve having sinned first, while Proverbs shows both father and mother give instruction. "Bring up," the same word used of Christ nourishing and cherishing the church in Ephesians 5, includes providing physical necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter, but the sermon stresses that Paul's emphasis falls on discipline and instruction, not material provision. Drawing on childhood memories of simple meals — rice with pork oil and soy sauce, and a rare treat of shumai dumplings savored to the last bite — the sermon argues children need simplicity far more than luxury, and that parents easily misplace priority by focusing on physical comfort while neglecting spiritual formation. Discipline, the Greek paideia, is unpacked through Hebrews 12: the Lord disciplines those he loves, and though painful at the time, it yields the fruit of righteousness and peace, proving legitimate sonship rather than its absence. Instruction carries the sense of warning, as in Paul's reminder that Israel's failures in the wilderness were recorded for the church's benefit. Fathers must also know their children's distinct temperaments — some need firmness, others need gentleness — so as not to provoke them to anger, an appeal reinforced by Jesus's teaching that the Father in heaven, who remembers that we are dust, cares for his children's needs and calls them to seek his kingdom first. The sermon closes with the image of disciplining with an apple placed beside the rod, meaning discipline must always be administered in love, so that both parents and children may walk in obedience that leads to joy in the Lord.

Bible Verses Used

• Ephesians 6:1-4: the primary text, commanding children to obey their parents in the Lord and fathers to raise children in discipline and instruction rather than provoking them to anger.

• Ephesians 2:8-10: grounds the child's obedience in salvation by grace, framing obedience as one of the good works God prepared beforehand for those in Christ.

• Exodus 20:12: the fifth commandment quoted by Paul, showing the promise attached to honoring father and mother and its transitional place between the two tables of the law.

• Romans 8:35-39: answers the sermon's central pastoral question by showing that the promise of long life is ultimately fulfilled in unbreakable, eternal union with Christ.

• Genesis 3: God's question to Adam, "Where are you," is used to show that fathers bear the primary responsibility for the household despite Eve sinning first.

• Proverbs 1:8; 6:20: cited to show that both father and mother are involved in instructing their children, even though Paul singles out fathers for primary responsibility.

• Ephesians 5:29: supplies the same Greek word translated "bring up," linking a father's nurture of his children to Christ's nourishing and cherishing of the church.

• Hebrews 12:5-11: expounds "discipline" at length, teaching that the Lord's discipline, though painful in the moment, produces righteousness and peace and proves genuine sonship.

• 1 Corinthians 10:11: shows that "instruction" carries the sense of warning, as Israel's wilderness failures were written down to instruct later generations.

• Matthew 6:26, 32-33: reassures fathers that the heavenly Father provides for needs so that priority can be given to seeking his kingdom over material provision.