Gospel and Marriage

Series:

New Testament

Book:

Ephesians

Rev. Budy Setiawan

The sermon opens a new section of Ephesians, working through 5:22–25, and frames it as the beginning of a multi-week series on marriage. The preacher first ties this passage tightly to what precedes it: in the Greek, verse 22 has no verb of its own — "wives, to your own husbands, as to the Lord" — because it borrows its verb from verse 21, "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." The command to wives is therefore not a freestanding rule but a specific application of the general command in verses 18–21 to be filled with the Spirit. Only those who are continually being filled with the Spirit, the sermon argues, are even capable of obeying what follows; the instructions to husbands and wives are impossible for anyone not united to Christ. Citing Tim Keller, the sermon warns that two spiritually "empty" people who enter marriage hoping their spouse will fill the void of purpose and identity will not find fullness but a deeper emptiness — only those who have already found their meaning in Christ can rightly love and submit within marriage.

The sermon is careful to hold two truths together. On one hand, Ephesians 5:21 establishes real mutuality: husband and wife alike are called to mutual submission, service, and self-giving love. On the other hand, verses 22–33 press beyond generic mutuality to insist on differentiated roles that must not be flattened into "mutual submission" alone. The wife is told to submit; the husband is told to love as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her — itself a costly, submission-like act, arguably a heavier one. Scripture never once calls the wife the "head" of the husband, but consistently calls the husband the "head" of the wife, just as Christ is head of the church. The sermon highlights a chiastic ("hamburger") structure: verse 22 ("wives, submit... as to the Lord") is echoed by verse 24 ("as the church submits to Christ... so also wives"), with verse 23 sitting in the middle as the reason — the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, its Savior.

A central exegetical move addresses the phrase "as to the Lord." The sermon argues that "as" or "like" here functions the way it does in Jesus' statement that we must "become like children" — not a total equation but a partial, qualified comparison. The husband does not replace God; submission to a husband is not identical to submission to the Lord. This is tested against verse 24's "in everything," which cannot mean submission without limit, since the husband is not God. Logically, if a husband commands his wife to disobey God — for example, skipping church for a holiday — obeying him would contradict the very authority (God's) that grounds the command to submit in the first place; the command breaks its own logic if stretched to cover sin. The sermon turns to 1 Peter 3:1–6 for a concrete case: wives married to husbands who do not obey the word are told to submit anyway, not by imitating disobedience but by winning their husbands "without a word," through pure and reverent conduct, following Sarah's example of obeying Abraham. Submission, the sermon concludes, is not compliance with a husband's every wish but a disposition of heart that depends on Christ while following the husband's leadership in every situation — a heart posture, not blind agreement with sinful demands, and one that can say no to sin while still honoring the husband in manner.

The sermon then asks how the church submits to Christ as the pattern for wives, offering four marks: with a sincere, wholehearted, and willing spirit (drawing an analogy from Ephesians 6:5–7 on servants obeying "from the heart" and "as to the Lord" rather than to please people); with joy, not compulsion (Romans 12:8); with love, since love for Christ produces obedience to his commands (John 14:15); and with confident trust that this design is genuinely good for the one submitting, since it is itself evidence of being filled with and led by the Spirit. The sermon closes with a pointed challenge to wives: how they treat their husbands reveals how they relate to the invisible God, and their children and watching unbelievers form their impression of the beauty of Christian faith by observing it — an appeal illustrated by a personal anecdote about young men drawn into pastoral ministry after witnessing joyful, not burdened, service to the Lord.

Bible Verses Used

  • Ephesians 5:22–24: The core text — wives are called to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ, with the husband's headship (v.23) given as the reason.

  • Ephesians 5:21: Shown to supply the missing verb of verse 22, grounding wifely submission in the broader command to mutual submission out of reverence for Christ.

  • Ephesians 5:18–21: Cited as the immediate context — being filled with the Spirit is the root that produces submission, making the command impossible apart from the Spirit's fullness.

  • 1 Peter 3:1–6: Used to show submission continuing even toward a disobedient husband, won by conduct rather than words, following Sarah's example.

  • Ephesians 6:5–7: Analogy of servants obeying "from the heart" and "as to the Lord," applied to illustrate the sincerity and willingness required of a submitting wife.

  • Romans 12:8: Cited for the principle of serving cheerfully and joyfully, applied to submission.

  • John 14:15: Cited to ground obedience to God's commands, including this one, in love for Christ.

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